Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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