So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
