I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
