Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
