we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
