she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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