on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
