there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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