its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
