Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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