You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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