I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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