Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
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I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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