Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
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I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.