Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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