i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor