Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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  (309): I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before. http://tfl.nu/3qsf
  Replies (8) Good night (657) Bad night (1374)
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  (916): View more from California

  Hey you

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?

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  (916): Hey you (732): You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up? http://tfl.nu/ejs0
  Replies (42) Good night (2444) Bad night (705)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?

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  (443): a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy? http://tfl.nu/2h5u
  Replies (32) Good night (854) Bad night (3402)
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  (315): View more from New York

  THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!

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  (315): THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/7uwm
  Replies (14) Good night (6895) Bad night (1407)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine

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  (704): Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine http://tfl.nu/h0jd
  Replies (21) Good night (4501) Bad night (1325)
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  (315): View more from New York

  And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.

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  (315): And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter. http://tfl.nu/66e0
  Replies (7) Good night (3572) Bad night (991)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction

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  (479): I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction http://tfl.nu/gbpq
  Replies (18) Good night (924) Bad night (3319)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.

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  (423): I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/5s6y
  Replies (22) Good night (4561) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat

  (1-631): View more from New York

  SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.

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  (631): She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat (1-631): SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT. http://tfl.nu/se9g
  Replies (5) Good night (1443) Bad night (601)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.

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  (573): I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators. http://tfl.nu/5v6t
  Replies (6) Good night (484) Bad night (1167)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else

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  (732): i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else http://tfl.nu/vcs9
  Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.

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  (202): There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1. http://tfl.nu/62gt
  Replies (8) Good night (752) Bad night (1428)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?

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  (413): Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later? http://tfl.nu/klxq
  Replies (6) Good night (943) Bad night (301)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.

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  (719): I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch. http://tfl.nu/zn95
  Replies (1) Good night (902) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.

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  (956): Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair. http://tfl.nu/7p18
  Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (426)

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