You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
