Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize