she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
