I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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