I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
