the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
