I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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