no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
