Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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