Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
