I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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