I'm going to rape someone's good day.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Randomize