Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
