apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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