I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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