i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
