AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
