At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
