I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
