We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
