Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
