Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
