I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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