Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
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To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize