Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
