U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
