you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
So vagazzling was a success
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
