there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
