i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
