i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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