I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Randomize
