I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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