I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
