I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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