just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
