Need sex. Gaining weight.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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