Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
