I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think my moral compass just broke
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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