I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize