when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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