bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I looked at my own cervix.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
