remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
