tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
