My Higher Power is John Stamos
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize