She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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