I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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