planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
