Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
