i think i have herpe
just one?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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