I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
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Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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