So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
